Anaphylaxis / Anaphylactic Shock

This weekend I was lucky enough to learnt what Anaphylaxis / or Anaphylactic shock is - the hard way. We had found a nice campsite that was right on the lake. We were planning to spend the weekend camping, boating, swimming, etc., Unfortunately however it seemed that our campsite was overrun with fire ants. Now, I've been bitten by fire ants in the past; a couple times while playing golf, once on a lake, once in my backyard, etc., and while it would swell up, burn, itch, etc., it wasn't 'that' big of a deal. The little bastards can sure pack a punch but it would go away after a couple days.

On Friday however I got about 7 bites at the same time on my foot. I brushed them off, killed a couple and said some colorful words but then went about my business. About 2-3 hours later however I was sleeping in the tent (which had some more ants in there as well) and my entire body started to burn. I woke up my wife and asked if she could see anything on me, ants, spiders, ANYTHING? - I was on FIRE. I then frantically went into our car to use the dome light and still couldn't see anything - but the burning was getting worse my entire body was on fire. I was starting to really freak out because it seemed that whatever had hit me or bit me - was still hitting or biting me so I took off my shirt frantically, then I fully disrobed in the van. I didn't know what to do - I was thinking about jumping in the lake. I wasn't sure if I had poison ivy and needed to wash my hands and my frantic actions were actually spreading the toxin? I just didn't know. Then the welts / hives started to spread and grow very FAST. Within seconds my ENTIRE BODY was covered in hives... under my arms, inside my thighs, legs, my hands were swelling, my ears were burning, and my mouth was starting to tighten up. I needed some immediate medical attention but we were in another town and we had no idea where to go. I was certain however that time was of the essence and I honestly felt like I was losing the battle.

We were driving down the road, and when we'd hit a red light (at 3:00am mind you) we'd ask people in the car next to us for directions. We finally found the hospital / emergency room and the employees there were having a hard time even looking - apparently I looked VERY bad. I was covered in hives and my face looked like I should have been in that "Thriller" video, very blotchy and looked as if death was setting in. When I looked in the bathroom mirror I'd never seen anything like it - my eyes were blood red and my face was indescribable really.

They rushed me to the back and quickly gave me an adrenalin shot (see also Pulp Fiction) as well as an IV with steroids, souped up benadryl and some other meds. The Nurse told me that my body was shutting down in response to the venom. Amazingly, within about 10-15 minutes everything had cleared up at the hives had essentially vanished.

The next day I went to the store and got a bunch of ant killer, spray, powder, etc., and treated our camp site. I had created a 'perimeter' if you will around the fire pit, our tents, tables, etc., and it worked well. I just paid close attention to not stopping or standing still in 'untreated' areas.

I had gone all day without getting bit, and at the end of the day I had decided to sleep in the car since I still wasn't that comfortable with the idea of sleeping outside after what happened the night before. Unfortunately however the car was hot and so I was going to see if my friend would mind if I slept on their boat instead so I walked outside (barefoot) and talked to them for a couple minutes (as they were still out by the camp fire) unfortunately I was standing still on yet another ant hill that I had not treated with ant poison yet and WHAM. They started nailing me again all over my feet. I frantically swatted them off and ran back into my car - where I found that a couple were still on my feet, one was between my toes and they just continuously kept biting. (as I read later they will bite, rotate around, and bite again.) This time however the severe reaction was almost immediate (where it took a few hours the night before). I instantly started to burn up, and hives started breaking out all over my body - but this time it felt much worse. I was wheezing and had hives sprouting up on the back of my neck around my hair line. I immediately rushed to the E.R. again where the same people were working from the night before. One nurse even gave me some grief "What are you doing here again!?" using the tone of a disappointed but caring grandmother. "Order up the usual" I mustered, and so it went again, a strong dose of adrenalin, rapid muscle twitches, a racing heart, followed by an amazing turn-about of events where the allergic reaction quickly subsided - but not without the help of some very strong medications.

I asked the nurse this time what would have happened if say I lived 50 to a 100 years ago or in another country without such advanced medicine and she said "you'd be a gonner - done, no question."

So now I have to carry around with me (at all times) what's called an "Epipen" which is an individual dose needle thing carrying a strong dose of adrenalin - that I'm supposed to stab / jam into my thigh in the event I get bit by another fire-ant (or have someone else stab me in the event I've passed out - comforting).

Unfortunately now, after coming close to death two times, before I put on my shoes I shake them out. Before I put on socks, I shake them out. I also pay attention to the ground a lot more, and I regularly feel like something is crawling on me. The "good thing" however is that I have a nice needle ready to go that I can "Swing and jab" (per instructions) into my leg at a moments notice. The best part was that this epipen thing came with two doses, and a third non-medicinal "practice" needle so that I could "practice" jabbing myself in the thigh.

Other than that we had a great weekend. The weather was just awesome and we told some good campfire stories. The kids had a great time. We all got a bit too much sun, and maybe drank 1 or 2 too many beers - but hey.... life is about the stories right?

Running Man

So I have this GPS watch thing that tracks and reports my pace, distance, etc, I just found a button on there where it will tell me what I've done year to date.

So far this year I've logged the following:

195.3 Miles

26 Hours :20 Minutes : 41 Seconds

31,857 Calories

The best part is.... I don't really like to run

What the!!!!!!

Several weeks ago I had set out on a run.. it was dusk and I was running along this dark winding wooded trail when all of a sudden some massive flying bug of some sort smacked me in my ear (even the bugs are bigger in Texas) … I could hear it BUZZING around and subsequently I was frantically trying to swat it away… and then I noticed it maybe it was STILL IN MY EAR because I could feel this massive structure of some sort in my ear which really freaked me out so I stopped running, leaned over, and frantically tried to dig it out of my ear but it turns out it was just my ear-bud from my ipod headphones.

(See, apparently a bug had in fact hit me in the ear, made a buzzing sound, but then quickly went on its way… however I still thought it was in there … but it was just my ear piece for my ipod)

In closing, I will say, even though it may "sound" like a good idea at the time… don’t take acid before you set off on a run. While you won't read that in any "Runner's World" magazines (A curious omission for sure!) .. I think it's worth mentioning.

Things that make you go hmm.....

Isn’t it ironic?

As we all know, just about everything in life can be looked at a couple different ways. I’ve noticed some things recently that sort of make me scratch my head and wonder.

As everyone may know, Mccain recently mocked Obama as being too much of a “celebrity” and compared him to Brittney Spears and Paris Hilton. However, wasn’t Ronald Reagan actually a celebrity? He was a TV host and President of the Screen Actors Guild right? – And it seems most republicans look at him as if he is the second coming. So I suppose McCain could have compared Obama to Reagan no? unlikely right.

Anyway, I also find it interesting (or ironic) that the most outspoken President against gay marriage in history, has seen more advances under his watch for homosexual protections than any other president. Many people voted for him because of this divisive issue and now gay marriage is more acceptable than ever before – it’s now even legal in a couple states. I’m not judging I’m just saying it sure is ironic.

In addition, the one president who claims to have kept us safe, while claiming that for example John Kerry, Democrats, etc., could not keep us (as) safe was the one president who was actually supposed to be at the wheel during one of the most horrific attacks on our soil in history.... hmmm…

Funny too how we're posturing against Iran, calling them evil, which I won’t discount here .. but it's the USA who signed a "doctrine" whereby we would not hesitate to invade another country 'preemptively' i.e. without provocation if we felt justified. It’s also the USA that leads the world in Nuclear stockpiles. McCain says we need to stop Iran from processing nuclear fuel – while also campaigning himself to create another 40+ nuclear power plants inside the U.S. We fear Iran using a Nuke, but the U.S. remains the only country to have ever used one – and ironically we dropped them on densely populated civilian cities to boot. We’re also the country that spends more on military than the next top 15 countries combined – and we recently manufactured evidence to justify invading another country.... but we need to keep a very close eye on Iran... hmm....

I also find it Ironic that the leader of the biggest evangelical Christian church (Haggard), who had regular access to the White House, turned out to be a homosexual crack head himself.

I’ve also always wondered how one can reconcile being pro-war, but also pro-life - you'll find this a lot on the "religious right" if you will. Can you on one hand say that death in war is just collateral damage so that the survivors can have a better life – when isn’t that also the justification a person might use when considering an abortion?

Things that make you go hmm…one's perception can become their deception.

Genetically Bootylicious

So Wednesday I go to pick up my wedding dress from Ursula's Alterations. Ursula had hemmed the dress - mostly in the front. It is a full length MOG (mother of the groom) number with lots of glitter and a long zipper down the back that won't lay flat when I try the dress on. On my first visit, Ursula had kindly opined in her German accent that this is the result of it being one of those nylon zippers. On my return visit, Ursula's assistant seemed pleased when she saw the dress and hem length until she saw the back zipper and commented "dress too tight here" while tugging at the fabric. This whole episode put me in the mind of an earlier family booty story about Aug being fitted for a tux for Glenn's wedding. The jacket had one of the center flaps at the back hem, and the sales clerk commented: "It will lay flat when you take the wallet out of your back pocket" - to which Aug sadly responded that there was no wallet in his pocket. I called him last night to verify the facts before writing this blog, and he reminded me that at the time Glenn offered, "Tell her 'If you have a spike up front, you might as well drive it with a hammer.' " (Fortunately, my dress comes with a jacket.)

No Sudden Moves

When I was growing up back at Broad Rock, occasionally Gram Records would make an afternoon visit. She would drive her Plymouth Duster from North Kingstown with her annoying chihuahua Taffy (adjective unnecessary?) in tow. After bidding her goodbye at the back door (in response to "Gram is leaving now. Come say good bye."), I would rush into the living room to turn on the tube - as TV was not allowed when company was present. (good rule) Broad Rock had a long narrow driveway, bordered by the house on one side and a chain link fence on the other. This fence was installed by the neighbors to the west after their son Martin began to walk. (That's another story. Suffice it to say the phrase "child ain't right" applied to Martin.) Anyway, Gram was VERY cautious when backing out of the driveway, and it was not a quick exit. I figured my time was better spent warming up the TV than continuing to wave my arm off while she was concentrating on her reverse.

I just wanted to share this picture I found with you. There's no big story here except to relate that I remember one afternoon waving goodbye at the back door and rushing to the living room in the front of the house to turn on Dark Shadows. I was intently enjoying the show for at least 5-10 minutes, it seemed, before a commercial break. Something caught my eye, and, when I looked out the window, Gram was STILL backing the car out of the driveway. (Taffy was in the back window with his paws covering his eyes.)

Follow up....

As a follow up to the previous "re-told" story about the Dr. Pepper explosion... while no pictures were taken at the time of the incident, this unidentified writer was able to re-inact part of the incident for investigators and has provided the following photos.

A day in the life with rain and canaloupe.

So I have been in the Florida house a day or two. I get up this afternoon and decide to ride my bike to the grocery store: Publix. My main purpose is to take my receipt with me and get a replacement cantaloupe for the bad one I got the other day. I started to cut it for breakfast and it had mold on the rind. I think Publix has some policy that seems like “if you ain’t happy we ain’t happy”. I figure what the hell…I ain’t happy about this worthless cantaloupe. Which I should have been suspicious of to begin with because it was labeled an “Athenian” cantaloupe…whatever the hell that means. So I cruise over by boan and bay-bo's on the Publix run. They are working in the back yard and wander out front to chat. I tell boan that she has a package on her front porch and a flyer stuck in the door. Being naturally curious and with time to kill, I wait for her to look at both of them. Boan has just received a package from UPS or FedEx. She opens it up and it's a stainless steel water bottle. She and Abbzug were discussing the fact that reusing plastic water bottles could be toxic….so she ordered this safe stainless one for their bike rides. I said I had heard that too as I took a swig from my water-refilled-Gatorade-plastic-bottle. Bay-bo has a mallet in his hand and claims to be fixing their gate locks. They spy a bottler of tea sitting on their new wall. Apparently Boan had left it there earlier in the day. I allowed as to how P-Lou and I had both left our keys sticking out of the door lock in the past few days. Seems forgetfulness is common in the village.

I bid adieu and begin to pedal down the street to Publix. I see Vail the plumber working on his small house next door to his big house. I wheel around and hail him with "do you know what you are doing?" He says he is putting a solar heating panel on the roof. We discuss the merits of solar heat, 50 gallon water heaters, and O’Doul’s. He said he wants to lose some weight so he has been drinking O’Doul’s and likes the taste. Said it cost about the same as beer but has a different taste. I can't remember drinking any O’Doul’s but now may reconsider. After about 15 minutes of conversation I am ready to head to Publix.

I start down the road on my bike again determined to go to Publix. Pedaled into the town and out…cruising on 58th street….hair flying in the breeze……life is good…… I see a woman get out of a car and walk over towards an old man lying on the sidewalk. She waves at me to come over. I stop and get off my bike….. cross the road and we approach the guy. He is lying on his back and seems to be awake. He has really thick glasses and stares at us like we are aliens. "Are you ok? Do you need any help? Are you hurt?" He grunts that he is ok, just needs help getting up. He had fallen backwards and cracked his head....no blood. The woman kindly asks if he has been drinking or is on some medication. . He said no, he just has trouble walking. Another guy , Alex, stops and helps me get "George" up to the standing position. George wobbles but he doesn't fall down…….if we both hold him. George is 79 and lives down the road alone and wants to go home. After some more discussion and grunts we put George between Alex and me with an arm over each of our shoulders and begin walking him home...slowly. The woman says she will stay there and watch my bike while we take the guy home. I notice she is in a Jeep Liberty with what appears to be her teenage daughter, so I am guessing my bike is safe. (And I feel I can trust her because now every time I see a Jeep …… I think of Jay being in that Jeep TV commercial with the singing birds, squirrels, and wolf) George is short, overweight, and large of stomach so me and Alex are humped over walking squat-crab like down the road with George between us. We finally get George home and he doesn't want to go in the house. We sit him in a plastic chair in the drive-way. He assures us he is ok. I have my doubts but Alex and I leave him there. I walk back to my bike a block or two away. The woman was true to her word, standing vigilantly beside my bike. We all mumble some "have to look out for each other" statements and disperse. I mount up, turn around and pedal down to the village police station. I think someone needs to check on George or at least be aware of the situation. Our village police station office closes at 4:30 PM...It’s 4:36 PM. I walk up to the police office door and press the intercom and tell the Voice a readers digest condensed version of what is happening with George. the Voice says hang on and some one will let you in. I wait. P-Lou calls me on the cell phone wanting to know where I am. I start talking to her on the cell phone and the Voice says something else. I press the button again and talk to the Voice. It says "open the right door". I try the right door and it doesn't move. I tell P-Lou I will call her back. I press the intercom button again. I am trying to talk as the Voice is trying to talk. Finally I get in the building. I tell the officer the story. He says he will go check on the guy. The officer asks my name and date of birth. I give him my middle name and last name, because I am from the south and when people say: what is your name? I always say "Vic". He then throws me a curve and asks for my middle name. He has me now. I have to admit my middle name is Victor. I tell him my real first name. He eyes me suspiciously and writes my full name and a small spiral note pad. He wants my phone number now too.

I leave the police office and pedal back to my house. Explain to P-Lou the story of my travels and why after 1-1/2 hours I haven't been to the store yet. I take a pee and refill my plastic drink bottle, get back on my bike and head for Publix ….again. And just for the hell of it , I retraced my route back to George's house. George and Alex are sitting out in plastic chairs in the driveway. I stop and talk to them a few minutes. George seems ok. He said are you Victor? The policeman came by and said you asked him to check on me. I was amazed that the policeman actually went and checked on George. I pedal off again to Publix….about 3 miles down the road.

Almost there and the rain and lightning start. I just make it to Publix and the bottom falls out. About a million gallons of water pour from the heavens. I go into the market. I explain to the service desk lady the deal about the cantaloupe. She tells me to go get another one and bring it to the service desk. I grab a melon, check out at the desk and head out the door. About 40 people are all standing in the doorway because it is raining cats and dogs and nobody wants to go out the door. I butt my way through the crowd and go outside but stay under the overhang. P-Lou calls and asks if it is raining. I said yea I will just wait it out before coming back home. She said she has talked to Bay-bo and he will drive his truck down to get me and my bike. I said don’t worry about it. She said Bay-bo is already on the way. I wait under the overhang for Bay-bo. I have my cantaloupe in hand and watch the rain fall, people get wet, and cars slow down.

Bay-bo pulls up in his big 4 door crew cab black truck and motions for me to take my bike and fat ass down the walkway a bit so he can pull up next to the curb. I walk my bike down and meet him past the restaurant. It is raining like hell now. We can hardly see each other. I stand under the overhang and watch as he hops in the back seat, opens the passenger side front and back doors and shouts through a curtain of water: “hand me the groceries”. I hand him the cantaloupe. He stares at the one item and then at me in disbelief………and asks “that’s all???”. (I assume when he volunteered to come and get me that he thought I had ridden my bike to the grocery store, bought several bags of food, my bike baskets were overflowing. And I really needed a ride home.) So I walk my bike behind his truck, he jumps out and helps me load it up. We get back in the cab. Both soaking wet. Fortunately, Bay-bo had the foresight to bring a dry towel with him. We dry off and head home.

I am thinking on the ride home. I sure hope this is a good damn cantaloupe. I would hate to have to bring it back tomorrow.

Re-told

Entitled "Tuesday" (Written again by unnamed family friend....)



So, I went on a Starbucks run today; the nearest is about 12 minutes away. I was sent to get a hot chocolate, venti iced coffee and grande vanilla bean frap with an extra shot. I ordered and the total was $10.63. My coworkers had given me $7 in cash but I was just going to use my debit card to pay. So I looked in my purse and no wallet. This morning I had realized I didnt have my wallet, but did have my debit card, so I thought I was cool unless they asked me for ID. Anyway, so I start looking through all the little pockets and couldn't find my card. I thought maybe I had left it in my car this morning when i got coffee so I went to look. I couldn't find it so considered driving all the way back to work or gathering all the loose change to pay the difference. I looked all through my car and found a handful of nickles and dimes. My coffee had spilled in the center console and the change was all stuck together and was really really gross. So I went back in and the cashier was just kinda waiting for me... I had to go in the bathroom to rinse off the change so I could SEPERATE it.... I FINALLY got it all unstuck and went to pay and I was STILL short 2.86. The cashier was looking at me like, really?? You are that broke and you are spending the last bit of your money on coffee?? So I guess she felt bad for me and took off the charge for the extra shot, the total was something like 1.76. So I pulled out this REALLY old used gift card I had saved to give to my daughter and told her to try it. She said "Well if you don't know the amount on the card it probably won't work". I had no idea if there was any money on it... so she tried it and it didn't work for the total so she tried it again for $1.50. Thank god it worked that time! So I still owe starbucks some change... pathetically she took it out of the tip jar.

Seriously... every day this is my life.

Re-Told.....

Entitled .... "Monday" (By a family friend)

So, in order to get Diet Dr. Pepper here at my office I have to walk about half a mile to the other office and buy them from one of the sales teams refrigerator. I really wanted one so I walked over there to get one and they were not in the refrigerator yet; but I bought 2 any way, thought I would store one over here for next time. SO, on the way back I stopped in the breakroom/cafeteria thing to get ice so that I could drink one of the sodas.There were about 60 people eating lunch and hanging out- some of the execs were in their as well. I washed my cup and filled it with ice and was carrying the 2 sodas and my cup out and somehow both sodas slipped out of my hand and fell on the ground. They both exploded and starting spouting out soda like a sprinkler. Diet Dr. P was spraying all over the place and the cans were spinning in circles. I wasn't sure if I should grab them really fast and head for a sink or wait for them to slow down, either way, I was already getting soda all over me and so were all the people in their nice work clothes in the area. What made it worse, their was a huge floor fan right where the drinks fell and the air was literally blowing the DDP all over everyone! People were jumping all over the place and screaming.... it was pretty funny and embarassing. Anyway, I finally grabbed them and ran over to the sink, but the soda was ALL OVER the floor (and all over my coworkers)..... I started cleaning it up and misstepped and slid one foot almost all the way across the floor... so I was basically doing the splits and the only way I could get up was to sit down in the soda pool, everytime I tried to get my footing I would just slip more. I finally got up and EVERYONE was laughing at me. Finally, some guys helped me clean up the mess.... this one guy had on a pink lightweight button down shirt and it was so wet... and spotty...so... yeah. I had the whole fight or flight moment and decided to not run out (although I TOTALLYwanted to) I started chatting people up, trying to be all funny and got this guy to buy me a new soda. But, I look so gross today, my hair is all wet with soda and sticking to my face and halfway in a ponytail and half all over the place. My clothes don't match, I look like I had an accident in my pants and I have no makeup and bags under my eyes.... so I couldnt even try and play 'cute'.... for reals... this just happened.