Went to Tampa Airport  the other day  to fly back to Denver. Thousands of black and yellow attired Iowa fans there. All heading home after a butt whippin by LSU the day before  in the Outback bowl in Tampa. Saw very few LSU fans, as I am sure they pretty much felt that minor bowl was not worth traveling to from Louisiana.  I observed that it is apparently a federal regulation that all people that leave Iowa must wear yellow and black clothing, ugly hats, and lanyards? They all did seem pretty damn excited though about being off the hog farm and in the big city. At least they all were animated and talking very loudly  and annoyingly about several  topics:  healthcare (apparently they are all experts in insurance including regulations, sales,  cost containment, and any various  associated  government issues),  their one major trip outside of Iowa 15 years ago which was to the enchanted state of Montana the vacation paradise of the free world (including drive times, vehicles, sleeping accommodations, bowel movements and each and every meal consumed on the adventure), the weather,  and  last but not least  the prospect of flying on a real air plane!!!  I guess their   trip off the farm coupled with having to wear shoes for unaccustomed periods of time was a bit unsettling to them. Anyway, I am glad to put that two hours out of my life. 

Leave Well Enough Alone

So I am sitting around the house last weekend and decided to take the pictures off my mighty Metropcs pimp phone and move them to the laptop. I have all my phone pictures on a micro SD card so I waddle upstairs and get the adaptor case thingy. I get back downstairs, squat at the dining room table, open up the laptop and slide the little data card out of the phone. Before I am ready to slip the data card in the adaptor case I feel along the front of my laptop for the adaptor slot. I feel the regular slot and next to it are a couple smaller slots. So I think “hmmmmmmm this is really a fancy laptop (forgetting it is an elcheapo that is 6 years old) and it has a slot for the mini data card…….I don’t have to use the adaptor thingy!” ………..so I proceed to slip the mini data card into the new found slot. About as soon as I slipped it in, I eased down and looked at the slot. I noticed the two “slots” were separated horizontally by a volume wheel. My steel trap mind immediately began to evaluate the consequences of my actions. I eyeballed the data card resting slightly inside the laptop case and lying directly on top of the volume wheel. I hollered for Plou to come down and see if she could get the card back out. I could tell when I showed here the situation she was contemplating weather this actually qualified me as a dumbass, jackass, or just a regular ass. She wanted to know how I happened to get the data card in that position. I stated I just wanted her to get the card out. She went upstairs and got a needle, came down, and tried to fish hook it out. This caused the card to move further into the laptop and disappear. I picked up the laptop, put my hand over the slot and shook the case violently. I assumed the card would shake out. I was wrong. I called several computer companies I had found on Angie’s list. They all were gone or chose to ignore my call. I called Best Buy and they said they would get it out for $50. I called Zoolander, my son in law and asked for his advice. He said take the laptop back off and get the data card. I mentioned that Best Buy would do it for $50. He said I could do it, just be careful. I went to the desktop and Goggled for a schematic…….then went to YouTube to see someone taking my laptop apart. I watched a Japanese guy start to take the back off of the same model as mine. I stopped watching after about step 23. I figured I would go for it. I began taking screws out of the back. Once I had them all removed I tried to open the case. Nothing moved, no separation, nothing. I put the screws back in and headed to Best Buy. Yong Sung Min Kim was waiting for me. I gave him the laptop and he said he was the one that I talked to on phone. He said WERE YOU the one that put the card in the volume control “slot”? I said well yea. He said why did I do that? I told him the story. He said give me a few hours and I will get it out._

He calls me about 2 hours later. Says he took the laptop apart, looked everywhere, and there was no card in the laptop. I hop in the car, go to Best Buy, and Kim hands me the laptop. He says no charge as there is no data card in the laptop. I thank him and leave. But I know in my heart, the data card is in there laughing at me. I also know that at some time and place I will take the laptop apart (and when I say “I”…… I mean my son in law, Zoolander) and retrieve the card.

The lesson here is one should stay with tried and true practices. If something is working for one, one should continue doing what works and don’t get fancy.

In one of my classes, the teacher asked us to discuss your own early language and communication socialization. How was it structured? How did it orient you to your family, cultural values, social position? What do you take for granted because of how you were socialized to communicate? How does it affect your perception/evaluations of people from similar and/or different backgrounds? Does gender matter?

I spent my formative childhood years in the 50’s and 60’s in central Florida. I was raised in a traditional Deep South rural lower economic blue collar environment. The small town I lived in was racially segregated with all minorities living in one section of town. I never had a black classmate in my schools until my senior year in high school, 1968. My dad was a block mason who worked six days a week and my mom was a stay-at-home mom till I was about 15 years old. My brother and I often worked with my dad after school and on weekends. It was expected for everyone to help out around the house with housework, mowing the yard, laundry, and shopping. Most of the women in our neighborhood didn’t work outside of the home. I went to the local country school with the same people from 1st thru 12th grade. Seldom did any one move in or out of our schools or neighborhoods.

All of my neighborhood people spoke the same language, attended the same schools, and went to the same Baptist churches. We spoke with deep southern accents and we kids used a lot of slang (but not around our parents or older people!). Supper time was about the only time that we actually sat down and talked as a family. Everyone ate supper at the same time every night (except Sunday) around 5 PM. Supper consisted of my dad and mom talking about my dad’s work day, mom’s household experiences, and neighborhood happenings. Mostly the kids kept quiet and listened. This was also the time when we were asked about school work. This was also the time we were called out for getting in trouble at school. It all seemed normal and relaxed but not a whole lot of interaction verbally. We kids didn’t talk that much as we just wanted to get through eating, do the dishes, and go back outside to play.

Sundays involved going to church in the morning but we watched football on TV in the afternoon. Lots of friends and family came over as we were the gathering place for the neighborhood. It was a multigenerational affair: young kids, teenagers, parents, grandparents, girlfriends, and neighbors. Everyone spoke freely and it was fun and entertaining. The older people drank beer and sat at the tables and sofa while the younger people sat or lay on the floor. This was one of the times that we as a family and friends talked and exchanged ideas.

I think these years taught me more how to listen than talk or express myself. It was almost understood that “children were seen and not heard” in this environment. Growing up in this type of family atmosphere probably made it different for me to meet and get to know people. I think I actually worked harder as I got older to open up and communicate with people I don’t know very well. (I am very much at ease talking to just about anyone now.) I am cognizant of people from my back ground and area of the country. If I hear a southern accent I always ask the person where they are from, how they got out here, and listen for a common connection to my life when I was younger.

The culture and language was very gender specific when I was growing up. It was a time when male and female were stereotyped and identified from my earliest memories. Girls and boys were often segregated in school and churche settings. Girls were expected to learn to sew, cook, and clean the house more so than boys. The boys were expected to do yard work, play football, and hang out with the boys. Seldom did I ever hear females use profanity or talk about sex, whereas this was a common occurrence with the boys (perhaps not that unusual). We always were aware and respectful with our language around adults. Usually out of fear for getting wacked or reprimanded.

Those were different times. I feel more comfortable in society now with the more open and free conversations. Hardly anything is gender specific and people just seem smarter!!!

Souls and Soles

So i leave work today and head down to a shoe repair shop here in town. A pair of shoes I have had about 20 years seems to be losing a heel. I noticed it was aligatoring about a week ago. I walk in to the little strip mall shoe repair shop that has probably been here for 20 -30 years. The small narrow shop has a counter, a fan, several pair of shoes on wooden shelves, and an old Chinese (Korean?) woman and man working there. The smell of leather and shoe polish fills the air. the little hand written sign on the counter says "No checks, No Credit Cards". I place the shoes on the counter. The woman says something to me that I can't understand. She points to the shoes and says "rooberleffer?" to which i reply "Huh?" she says rooberleffer again. I shake my head, shrug, and point to the shoe: "Soles and heels". she mumbles something and goes to the back behind a half wall and gets Song Hwang. Song comes out and picks up the old shoes and says : you wanna leffer or roober? Now it makes sense, he is saying leather or rubber soles. being a cheap ass SOB my first question is which is cheaper? he shakes his head stares at me like he has done this a thousand times and says "boofsamemoony, boofsamemoony". I am learning the language and understand this now as "Both are the same price..both same money". Being the sharp consumer that I am, i press the issue...Which is better? He looks at me like I am a 3 year old jabbering. He goes back behind the wall brings out two shoes. flips them over and shows me that one has a rubber sole and one has a leather sole. he repeats "Boofsame, Boofsame". I point to the leather one. He mummbles to his wife and walks to the back. Apparently done with his translation duties.
She says "satdaykay...satdaykay"...i reply yes saturday will be fine. She makes a note on the ticket with that slanted tic-tac-toe chinese writing , tears the claim ticket off and hands it to me. picks up my shoes, turns and goes back to the back of the shop behind the half wall.

I pick up a business card. says they are open from monday - friday 8 am to 6 pm. saturdays 9 to 4. I think about someone coming form a foreign country and starting out here from scratch. Dont know the language, cant read a sign, the radio is charlie brown wa wa wa wa wa, and probably flat ass broke. They find a place to live, start a business, and work their butts off for years. 50 -60 hours a week. Don't complain, pay taxes, learn the language, have children. They had it rough and had to pinch pennies for years.......and now feel like they are living large. They will work in this same shop till the man dies. Then the woman will retire and go live with her oldest children. She will help with the meals, clean house, and do the wash. Some days she will sit in the rocker by the windoow and feel the sunshine on her thin cotton dress. She will think about the days spent in the little shop and the time she and her husband were together. Brown bag lunches shared for 60 -70 years, babies, deaths, and weddings. I hear the lyrics from a john mellencamp song going thru my head:

there's a black man with a black cat
Livin' in a black neighborhood
He's got an interstate runnin' through his front yard
You know he thinks that he's got it so good

and i think maybe just maybe they do have it good.

"This I Believe"

Disclaimer: This will be a lengthy blog. Yet I hope you'll find it inspiring enough to contemplate your own "This I Believe" essay.

I've been reading the book "This I Believe". It's a compilation of short essays by many famous and non-famous men and women each describing a personal, passionate belief. In the back a challenge to the reader is presented. Below you'll find that challenge and my response. I highly recommend reading the book and writing your own essay.

How to Write Your Own This I Believe Essay

We invite you to contribute to this project by writing and submitting your own statement of personal belief. We understand

how challenging this is—it requires intense self-examination, and many find it difficult to begin. To guide you through this process, we offer these suggestions:

Tell a story: Be specific. Take your belief out of the ether and ground it in the events of your life. Your story need not be heart-warming or gut-wrenching—it can even be funny—but it should be real. Consider moments when your belief was formed, tested, or changed. Make sure your story ties to the essence of your daily life philosophy and to the shaping of your beliefs.

Be brief: Your statement should be between 350 and 500 words. The shorter length forces you to focus on the belief that is central to your life.

Name your belief: If you can’t name it in a sentence or two, your essay might not be about belief. Rather than writing a list, consider focusing on one core belief.

Be positive: Say what you do believe, not what you don’t believe. Avoid statements of religious dogma, preaching, or editorializing.

Be personal: Make your essay about you; speak in the first person. Try reading your essay aloud to yourself several times, and each time edit it and simplify it until you find the words, tone, and story that truly echo your belief and the way you speak.

The Gift of Laughter

Maggie Robinson

I BELIEVE THAT THE GREATEST GIFT WE ARE GIVEN IS THAT OF LAUGHTER.

I am by no means the family comedian or class clown. But I have quite a laugh. In elementary school, during a period of bullying I endured, girls ridiculed me saying my laugh was fake. I’ve always had an accompanying snort to my laugh; when something is so funny my nose envy’s my mouth’s pleasure and joins in. And then there is my singular, but incredibly animated “HA!” which my mother-in-law now thoroughly enjoys. Lastly, there’s my out of breath, evil-dog-like-wheezing-laugh (think Muttley from the cartoon, Wacky Races) that works my abs like no other and brings tears to my eyes. All of these…real.

In fact, it is laughter that I find to be a most sincere and identifiable auditory characteristic in people. Take my father for instance. He was an Irish man with a great talent for story telling and in particular, joke delivery. Every holiday and gathering of family and friends, he filled the atmosphere with his large, contagious laugh…It was a hands on his belly, curly white Bob Ross hair style pointed to the floor, nose in the air, tears rolling down his face, deep Santa Clause laugh. When I miss him the most, I close my eyes and hear his laughter, and my heart is warmed with his presence.

I also believe that laughter can heal. When I was a teenager, my grandmother moved in with us. She had a number of health complications that eventually led to her partial paralysis, dementia, and dependence on our family to care for her fully. But in the midst of her pain and confusion, her humor never faded. We would watch videos of Carol Burnett or Johnny Carson shows together on repeat…with each joke her face would brighten with all the smile she could muster (even if it was only the left side of her face). She would even crack herself up while attempting her physical therapy training or when a bite of a meal slipped off her fork right before reaching her mouth. I believe she was actually happy during those tough years, thanks to her sense of humor. We are still so thankful for the many years it kept her with us.

Here’s an exercise. Picture an old friend from school, or a dear aunt you only see once a year. Close your eyes. Focus on hearing their laughter. I can almost guarantee you are now smiling and engaging more of your senses in both visualizing and hearing that person you were or are close to. Once I started doing this I almost couldn’t stop! I went to college 1,500 miles from my hometown and can now vividly recall all of my close friends whenever I want to…this in turn brings on distinct memories of our time together, forever retained in laughter.

As I type this, I am having a very early breakfast with my husband and in-laws, and we are starting the day off with a good laugh. Momentarily, I have forgotten the pain from spraining my ankle yesterday and the stress of waiting for a job interview. Somehow I know, that not matter what the day holds, as long as I have a good laugh with people I love and even strangers, things will be OK. Laughter is the gift of love, comradery, unity, health, happiness, and comfort.

can I get a replacement or what?

From: ribhard [mailto:ribhard@qmail.net]
Sent: Monday, January 24, 2011 5:51 PM
To: Customer Service at CHIEFS Catalog
Subject: Connnoisseur Corkscrew Item 90050


I bought a Connoisseur Corkscrew Item 90050 at your warehouse sale a few months back. It is a very good item and works well . the only problem I have is the foil cutter fell apart the first time I used it. This little item is handy and I would like to replace it. I have looked on line and cannot find the manufacturer.
Is there some way I can buy or get a replacement foil cutter?
Thanks
ribhard


From: Customer Service at CHIEFS Catalog [mailto:custservice@chefscatalog.net
Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 10:45 AM
To: ribhard
Subject: RE: Connnoisseur Corkscrew Item 90050


Dear Mr. Ribhard
Thank you for contacting CHIEFS.
I’m sorry that the foil cutter broke. I am even sorrier that you wrote me and tried to weasel a free item, again. For the record we do sell a foil cutter separately: It is a VMF Vino foil cutter #25469 for $19.95. If you want to order one, please use our website and make sure you use a valid credit card (this time). Also, I have some further information on the manufacturer: Fax #206-555-1218 and www.myufrance.net. I passed your email along to them and they would be happy to hear from you (NOT).
If we can be of further assistance please don’t hesitate to contact us..

Kally Sahlah
Customer Care Specialist
Chiefs
800-333-4444
Fax 800-999-2433
skelly@chiefscatalog.net
www.chiefscatalog.net
________________________________________

________________________________________
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This e-mail message, including any attachments, is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and proprietary information. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure or distribution is prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient(s), please contact the sender by reply e-mail and destroy all copies of the original message.


From: ribhard [mailto: ribhard@gmail.net]
Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 6:20 PM
To: administration@xinhuacorp.net
Subject: Connoisseur Corkscrew Item 90050


I bought a Connoisseur Corkscrew Item 90050 a few months back. It is a very good item and works well . the only problem I have is the foil cutter fell apart the first time I used it.I wrote the company where I purchased it and they said to go take a hike. This little item is handy and I would like to replace it. I have looked on line and cannot find the manufacturer. Is there some way I can buy or get a replacement foil cutter?
Thanks
Ribhard


From: Customer Service [mailto:cuservice@mifrance.net]
Sent: Thursday, February 10, 2011 9:21 AM
To: Ribhard
Subject: RE: Connoisseur Corkscrew Item 90050


Just need your address and we'll throw a couple in the mail for you. Just need to hear we are completely done with this deal….ok?

one thing leads to another

so I (and I am guessing a few thousand of her closest friends) get this email from Laura, who plays in this duo called the sweet potatoes. I first wrote her an email back a few years to find out what happened after she left tv. She s probably best known as the improvisational pianist on WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY. But anyway, one of the things she is doing now is singing:

"The Sweet Potatoes
featuring Laura Hall & Kelly Macleod
acoustic driven Americana music with a fresh twist"

this email is announcing they will be playing in a club in North Hollywood this month. I click on the link and find the club. scroll down looking at the list of who has played there and find this guy named Laurence Juber. Well it turns out that Laurence plays classical guitar and was the lead guitarist for Wings with Paul McCartney when they toured for 3 years. so i click on amazon and listen to some of his music...and one album is called LJ plays the beatles and is very interesting and fun to hear.

ain't it funny in life how one thing leads to another. You start off doing homework, check email, click a couple of links, and before you know it you are easing down the long and winding road feeling good and mellow and end up listening to Laurence and then you are on to The Greatest Hits of The Beatles Classical Style and you just have to stop and blog a bit..and the next thing you know old Jed's a millionaire and you find it is about 2 hours later and you have done no homework, washed no clothes , or thought about fixing any supper.

Can you spare a brother a shirt?

On December 24, 2011 at 8:16 PM, ribhard@qmil.net wrote:

From: ribhard
To: L.L.Bean Customer Service
Subject: worn out shirt

Mens Long sleeve Chamois Cloth Shirt Hunter Green

I bought an LL Bean shirt 2 -3 years ago and the cuffs on the sleeves are coming apart and very thread bare. Is it possible to return it for replacement? I don’t think I have worn it that much.

Thanks
Ribhard

-----Original Message-----
From: customerservice@llbean.com [mailto:customerservice@llbean.com]
Sent: Monday, December 24, 2011 8:32 PM
To: ribhard@qmil.net
Subject: RE: L.L.Bean Customer Service

Dear Mr. Ribhard,

Thank you for contacting L.L.Bean regarding your Chamois Shirt. I'm sorry to hear the cuffs are coming apart. Just a personal comment: It seems any shirt that lasted 2 – 3 years probably lived up to any normal customer expectations…….. I’m just sayin.
Anyway, all of our products are guaranteed to give 100% satisfaction in every way. If you “feel” the shirt has not performed as you expected, given the time and use (and probable abuse) it has been given, you may return it for replacement. (Don’t even think about getting a refund.)

I hope this information is helpful Mr. Ribhard. Please let us know if we can be of further assistance.

Sincerely,
Claudia S.
L.L.Bean Customer Service
800-YOU-KIDDING-ME?
llbean.com

On December 24, 2011 at 8:56 PM, "ribhard"
Yes I would like to return it for a replacement, since a refund is apparently not in the cards at this time. Where should I send it? Do you have prepaid shipping labels and packing sheets I can download on line? I’m jest askin.
Thank you
ribhard


Dear Mr Ribhard,

Thank you for contacting L.L.Bean again, concerning your shirt.

You can download a return label/form online at llbean.com under Easy Returns. The link for the Returns information is: http://www.llbean.com/shop/returns/index.html?nav=ftbar . If this is too much trouble, please give us your physical address and we will mail you the paperwork. (We would really like your physical address and a picture for our bulletin board)

I appreciate the opportunity to help you today. If you have any further questions do not hesitate to call. 1-800-YOU-KIDDING-ME?

Sincerely,
Cynthia F.
L.L.Bean Customer Service
800-YOU-KIDDING-ME?
llbean.com


TO: customerservice@llbean.com
Sent: Monday, December 24, 2011 8:32 PM
FROM: ribhard@qmil.net
Subject: RE: L.L.Bean Customer Service

Dear Cynthia,
Ok I will ship the shirt back. I am just wondering: Is there anyway you can next day air the replacement to me righ away? I promise I will send the old shirt back when I get the new one. I hate to be without a warm shirt for several days. (Even with worn sleeves)

Thanks for your consideration.

ribhard

Ugly Wings

-----Original Message-----
From: ribhard
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2011 3:00 AM
To jolene.klastione@kroger.net
Subject: Kroger Chicken Wings Dat Went Ugly

I recently purchased a Kroger brand 48 oz bag of Chicken Wing Drummettes, bone in, skin on. (9999890KL111097863) at King Sooper on Centennial and Fillmore in Colorado Springs, CO.

I usually get fresh wings, bitch about the price, and continue on with my shopping……but this particular day, the store was out of fresh wings. I asked the counter meat man “What up dawg? we got no fresh wings in da box?” He said “Look-a-heh boy, go grab a bag of dem frozen wings, and be on whit yer bidness.” I think he muttered under his breath something like “I gots no time for the likes of you”......…but I ain’t sure. Anyway, short story long, I waddled down to the freezer and snagged a bag. I brought these home and cooked them in the oven as the bag specified. I am never really sure if I am supposed to cook longer or shorter time since I live in Colorado and its 6,000 ft elevation…so I just “winged” it on the cook time. After about 35 -40 mins at 350 I pulled them out of the oven. I have never seen so much chicken dripping fat on a wing / drummette in my life. I had to double check the bag to see if I actually bought chicken wings or did I get fatback bacon grease by mistake. I am not sure if this is the normal way this product turns out, but I will be sure to steer clear of this product in the future. You may want to pass along a little heads up info to the company that is hoodwinking yall on this product: their wings are ugly.
Sincerely,
ribhard


-----Original Message-----
From: jolene.klastione@kroger.com
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2011 1:12 PM
To: ribhard
Subject: Kroger Comment 897573162

Dear Mr. Ribhard:

Thank you for contacting The Kroger. You ain’t the first to bitch about these wings. In fact, we have received so many complaints that we almost took them off the shelves. But strange as it may seem, lots of people just keep on buying them. Anyway I apologize that you were so disappointed in the Kroger Chicken Wings. We are committed to maintaining a high quality in all our products and we appreciate the feedback about the wings.

I am forwarding your comments to quality control for review and consideration. I am also sending you a $10 coupon.

If you have any further concerns or comments please feel free to contact us at 800.THE.KING. (But please don’t make a habit of it.)

Sincerely,
Jolene Klastione
Consumer Affairs

So we now have had two snow days in a row……it has become apparent the people of Colorado do not feel obligated to work or go to school when it is 8 below out here. So during the down time I have accomplished many tasks: took P-Lou to the library yesterday to help me write a homework assignment. As she wrote, I multitasked: I looked up a periodical required and got the reference desk lady to show me where it was, ate a roast beef sandwich, cheese puffs, and drank a diet coke, kept track of the time, all this and still had time to observe P-Lou getting the paper done. On the way back home yesterday, we made a couple of product returns/exchanges at Kohl’s and the Wall of Martness. I now have a big blue sweat shirt to go with my big blue sweat pants.
Also during this two day period, I have invested some serious time into planning some very important projects: taxes, homework, clean up desk, convert VHS to digital, alphabetize CD’s, clean junk drawer, clean garage, thin out old clothes, etc.
I have also cooked a few of my specialties this week…ok ok ok…I have cooked my one specialty: Dill Chicken with rice. P-Lou’s oldest son is staying over for work and he also fixed some delicious Chili. I made omelets this morning too just because I had time with the snow day and all.
Just finished putting a crock pot meal on to cook. Had a 1 LB pork tenderloin I needed to cook. Looked up a few BBQ recipes on line and decided to make my own. Started pulling stuff out of the ice box and pantry shelves and tossing them in the mix:
1 LB Pork Tenderloin cut into two chunks
12 cloves stuck in the meat, ½ Onion sliced and put in the pot, then put the meat on top of the onions, added 1 TBS of spicy mustard, ½ green and yellow bell peppers chopped up, chopped fresh organic baby dill and chives, white pepper, black pepper, Kosher salt, 1/3 cup catsup, 1 TBS liquid smoke, dash of cumin, dash of ground mustard, 1 – 14 oz. can of Swanson 100 % natural chicken broth 99% fat free with no MSG, 2 chicken flavored bouillon cubes, dash of Worcestershire sauce, 1 TBS Badi complete seasoning, 1 TBS minced garlic, 2 pcs of double smoked slab bacon cut up into pieces and sprinkled on the meat, 1/3 cup of white rice vinegar. I topped this off with the other ½ onion slices. Set the pot to cook 10 hours on low. Plan on cooking all day, removing the meat, straining the pot liquor whats-left and putting it in a cleaned out used catsup squeeze bottle for bbq ontheside sauce. Will get some fresh buns and serve it up tonight with some coleslaw or potato salad. …….and maybe eat with some black iron skillet cornbread I made the other day.
Will keep you posted on the outcome.

ok so nobody writes here..so

1. One of the few good things about living in Colorado is you never see a roach...anywhere anytime.
2. Florida has gotten hotter than hell,over the past few years, in the summer time and colder in the winter time. And this pisses me off some.
3. It takes a lot to get an old person to change his/her ways about anything.
4. I don't like to swim in any pools, ponds or oceans.
5. The wind blowing really hard pisses me off when I am trying to walk outside.... anywhere.
6. I have a bike but haven't ridden it in months because I am too lazy (and the wind blows a lot around here).
7. It is not easy to find good chicken wings at a decent price anymore....like below $2.09 a lb.
8. You can DVR so much stuff that you can't watch it all and you might as well not even DVR half the stuff if you ain't gonna watch it.
9. I can sleep most nights all the way through now but can't remember any dreams anymore which is a decent trade off I guess.
10. Sometimes you just wonder what exactly the deal is on this whole living on earth thing.

So I was at the Albertsons a few months ago........

I was standing near the self check out registers waiting my turn behind this young couple in front of me. They were speaking spanish and checking their groceries. Suddenly the girl picks up a package from the cart and slings it back towards the store aisle. She shouts something in spanish at the guy. He walks over and picks up the package and mutters something under his breath. I see the package is a box of Trojans. He sheepishly walks the package back to the shelf and puts it there.

God I wish I would have paid more attention during high school spanish classes. I would give anything to know what she shouted when she fired to box through the air.

so I have this avocado.......

I was sitting around thinking about fixing some supper tonight...... Plou says she will have a bowl of oatmeal. I think that sounds ok to me......so i fix a big pot......but I really need to use up an avocado I have in the kitchen.....so I fix a little guacamole...fresh avocado...lemon juice...kosher salt....fresh garlic...mash it up with a spoon...and ....then I get this fun idea for an omelet...I saute some onions, green bell pepper, and garlic in olive oil.....throw these cooked items in
a bowl....then pour in some liquid eggs in the same pan......you know the kind they sell in a milk carton at Albertsons...I am cooking and swirling the eggs like I know what I am doing...but omelets never come out right for me..........up I go on the pan edges...swish swish....curling the pan..moving my wrist...making it happen...the secret appears to be the very thin liquid eggs...looking good........crumple up some Tillamook extra sharp cheddar cheese on the eggs......then toss the cooked items from the bowl into the pan on the omelet before folding..... I spy the guacamole....thinking why not two dog..........so I dish some of that into the omelet.....sprinkle white pepper...black pepper and a little more kosher salt....fold the eggs over and the omelet is looking almost right...I let it continue to cook......throw some multi grain sandwich thins in the toaster oven....you know those little round sandwich bread things that curl up if you toast them in the regular toaster......the bread overcooks till it is very dark brown..I figure what the hell....I put a little I-can't-believe-its-not-butter on the thins.......along with orange marmalade...everything is ready....snagged some sweet tea out of the ice box...and damn that was a decent meal ......surprising me very much...which tells me that I can mix and match food that I would not usually think would work.

Think about somebody else

I heard a story on NPR Story Corps Friday morning on the way to work. Not very often you hear something that kinda stops you in your tracks and really makes you think. This story was very thought provoking. If you want to hear it.. go to NPR and listen to the whole thing.

It was a story about a Dr. Greer. He had worked with needy people a lot. He could point to one day at a clinic as a defining moment in his career and in his life. He was seeing some patients around lunchtime — a mother and her children, who had been staying at a Salvation Army shelter. Greer tells the story: "Her youngest son — I guess, about 6 years old — had a sweet smile. And I handed him my sandwich," Greer said. "And the kid took the sandwich out of the bag, unwrapped it, broke it in half, took a couple of bites and then stuck it back in the wrapper. And I couldn't figure out why the kid was doing that. "And I asked the kid, 'Why'd you do that?' " The little boy looked up and said, "It's for my brother."

"And that was probably one of the most important lessons I ever learned," Greer said. "That a 6-year-old homeless child is teaching us what we're all supposed to do: think about somebody else."

The ARC

I tour the ARC from time to time…a local thrift shop that has thousands of items. This is one of my favorite places to spend time, relax, and unwind. (You all know what tremendous pressure I am under at my job…right?) Some of yall run, ride bikes, watch YouTube, play computer games, do frisbee golf or watch DVR’d shows: I go to the ARC to experience the refreshing serendipity of life.

This store smells old and kinda tired…giving
the feeling of slipping back a few notches on the time line…to an existence not dictated by cell phones, internet, and gotta go gotta go. The slightly off-white yellowish hue of the lighting and speaker music from the 50’s and 60’s adds to the mood.

The ARC is always full of old people, young people, students, and a smattering of homeless transient types along with the occasional well-heeled shoppers who seem to be slipping around as if they are trying to avoid detection.

The items there are all donated. Some things intended to be used by others; some things just dropped off there instead of tossed in their rightful place: the garbage can. As I wander the aisles and see the artifacts, it makes me think about how our society seems to have a natural reluctance to actually throw things away. We feel better about donating an item than tossing it, for whatever reason. I think most of these one-time-treasures are dropped off just to get things out of someone’s house. Maybe it is bloodletting for us these days, as we all have way too much stuff in our houses and our lives. I also think about the ARC as the original old school recycling project. These thrift stores were around long before we got all hot and bothered about landfills and save the planet recycling.

I imagine the source of some of the artifacts might be cleaned out homes of the deceased. Beings that have lived long and productive lives but now have moved on to different challenges on the Other Side……or perhaps old people who have given up or given in to the daily battles involved with sleeping, eating, and clothing oneself. People that have been delivered peacefully or screaming and kicking to the rest, old, assisted care or congregate living "homes". Places where they can sit by the window and stare back into time and relive the many forgettable moments of their existence....changing the facts as they see fit…....the trips to the grocery stores, malls, schools, churches, baseball games, doctor offices, and airports or so called vacations.....or sit quietly on a cracked Naugahyde sofa staring blankly at reruns of the Price is Right! or Lets Make a Deal ..... the TV on the wall rack ......that no one…inmates or caregivers …..has the slightest idea where the remote control is or the ambition to change the channel if they could find it.

Many of these items were purchased and used to maintain daily life or at least the illusion of living..... back in the day. Some given as gifts and probably prized at one time by the giver and receive. These same items now sit stacked on the shelves, hung on wire hangers, packed on book cases. With their yellow, green and blue price stickers clearly marked from 12 cents to hundreds of dollars. The prices dependent on the mood of the volunteer or the person working off community service hours when the donation was received. These front line people are charged with the responsibility of making a WAG about how much someone might be willing to pay for the item. Based on evaluation of the fair market value considering it is old, broken, worn out, used and abused……much like the clientele frequenting the ARC.


I like to look at the coffee cup selections. Usually limiting my inspections to the ½ off 39 cents to 79 cents offerings. Every once in a while I will consider purchasing a $1 cup if it is a really nice cup and it is 50% off day. I have snagged some classic cups there: Alcatraz Hotel, Two Men and a Truck, San Francisco Cable Car,and Cafe something or other. The TM and AT was purchased as a matched set of two. One I kept at home and one I took to the work place. To make a long story even longer: the one at work got stolen by some coworker causing me to exclaim, Holy Shit! Is nothing sacred around this place? The only other thing that comes close to this lack of respect for private property was 30 years ago someone stole my flip-flops at Daytona beach that I left by the stairs on the beach behind the hotel. I must say it is a lowlife mother fucker that will steal a used coffee mug or worn out flip-flops from another human being.

Anyway the rest of my tour around the ARC always includes the vinyl records:
33’s, 45’s, and 78’s with their funky album cover art and 4 track cassettes. Always looking for the long play album: Meet The Beatles in the original wrapper. Then pots and pans…thinking I will find an All-Clad 10” sauce pan for under $10…when in fact there are several used Lodge cast iron skillets marked for $29 that sell new for $27 at Wal-Mart. Apparently the spoon, fork, and knife scratch-marked-rusted bottoms add value to the cookware in the eyes of the pricers.

I found a magnificent three-legged piano there once marked $5,000. Trust me…I thought about it…knowing this was the opening price and would soon drop down to a manageable mount…..weighing the amount of wrath I would have to endure if caught with the purchase…Where could I hide it? How would I get it home? Would Rob let me store it at his house? Yea....…like we are gonna be able to make up some story about why it is sitting in his garage? I could see him getting caught in some fabricated story we dreamed up and rehersed..knowing full well he would fold when the pressure was on.....and at some point my name would be rung from him…...."Annie: Hey Rob what the hell is this piano doing out here? Rob: IT'S VIC's PIANO!!!!!! HE MADE ME BRING IT HERE!!!!) I also hesitated a bit because we lived in a crowded apartment and it was on the second floor….…with reluctance, I passed. I did keep keep my eye on it for several weeks as the price was reduced on a regular basis. The last price before it disappeared was at $499…which I know was purchased on ½ off day for $250. I pictured this piano sitting in a garage somewhere…the man trying to explain to his wife why they can’t park the cars in the garage no-mo..and how valuable this piano is going to be when he fixes it up, has it tuned and they Craig list it.

The rest of the time I spend looking at outdoor bbq grills, golf clubs, bikes, skis, and tee shirts. The tour always ends with the book section. I love the old cook books with colored pictures. I have purchased Cooks Illustrated magazines, Gourmet Today, and a 1952 Betty Crocker spiral cook book with the red and white plaid cover…all on ½ off day of course.


Think about the true value of an ARC and the fact that everyone needs an ARC.

Find yours and make it a part of your life.

The mind is a terrible thing to loose............

a few things happened to me one day that make me wonder if I have Alzheimer's or just CRS (can't remember shit). I got up in the morning and put 2 packs of sweet and low in my empty coffee cup....turned around and fixed some toast..and then decided I would drink milk instead of coffee...poured the milk in the coffee cup and thought Jesus this is some sweetass tasting milk........drank the whole cup before it dawned on me why. next I went to the closet to get my shoes....got them and began looking around for my socks that I knew I had brought down stairs....walked around a while and couldn't find them..until I looked down at my feet....the final straw was later I opened the dishwasher..left the door down....apparently thinking this would be a hint for plou to empty the dishwasher....turned around a few mins later and kicked my shin on the dishwasher door hard enough to draw blood and make me shout a couple of obscenities. This getting old is getting old.

And the beat goes on..........

Customer (Ribhard) 12/12/2009 05:57 PM
I sent a cool pix camera in for repair on november 29...and never heard a word. is there some way to check on it?

Response (Gina G.) 12/14/2009 03:11 PM
Thank you for your inquiry. May I get the method of shipping that was used and also the tracking#.

Customer (Ribhard) 12/14/2009 06:38 PM
Mona
I sent it first class USPS mail. No tracking number.
Thanks
Ribhard

Response (Gina G.) 12/15/2009 12:12 PM
Which location was it shipped to?

Customer (Ribhard) 12/15/2009 10:30 PM
el segundo, ca....see attached packing sheet

Customer (Ribhard) 12/15/2009 10:31 PM
do you see the attached file?

Response (Gina G.) 12/16/2009 11:53 AM
It has not been logged in service yet. Once it has been received and logged in, you automatically will receive confirmation by email. I would suggest to check with USPS and see if package was delivered.

Customer (Ribhard) 12/16/2009 10:57 PM
5204607 service order number

please send my camera back to me. the estimate of $87 is more than the camera cost new. This is sad news, since the camera never worked correctly since it was purchased. The dealer said to send it to you as they would not fix it. And now Nikon wants an arm and a leg to fix a problem that has always been there.

also there is nowhere on your website to decline servce.

thanks for nothing

Response (Gina G.) 12/17/2009 02:37 PM
Mr Ribhard:

When was the camera purchased? Our records indicate a sales receipt was not included?

Gina
Nikon Customer Relations

Customer (Ribhard) 12/17/2009 06:14 PM
we bought it a little over a year ago. Can't find the receipt.

Response (Gina G.) 12/18/2009 12:13 PM
Can you provide me a ball park time frame, so we can make note in our file.

Customer (Ribhard) 12/18/2009 06:26 PM
about 1-1/2 years

Response (Gina G.) 12/18/2009 06:50 PM
Thank you, for customer goodwill I have waived the charges as a one time courtesy.

You may check status on-line by logging onto https://www.nikonimagesvcapprove.com/status/ The billing name is the first four letters of your last name or the company name.

Customer (Ribhard) 12/18/2009 07:38
Thanks for waiving the charge.

when I check status it just says "estimate" see below. Do you know the status of the repair?


Service Order No.:
8675309
Received:
12/16/2009

Customer (Ribhard) 12/18/2009 07:42 PM
it looks like Nikon has fixed the camera and it is in the process of being shipped back to us now?

Response (Gina G.) 12/19/2009 11:09 AM
Nope, it just updated the information yesterday (12/18/09) to reflect a courtesy repair.

Thank you for your inquiry regarding the status of your Nikon repair. You may check status on-line by logging onto https://www.nikonimagesvcapprove.com/status/ The billing name is the first four letters of your last name or the company name.

Customer (Ribhard) 01/02/2010 07:42 PM

Thanks Gina
We got the camera back yesterday. Works fine. Is Nikon going to cover this for another year under warranty? I'm just wondering. Thanks for all your help.
Ribhard

Ok so its only $0.14..but never let them get you.

Dear Ribhard,

Case ID: 8675309
Pay To: City of Gulfport
Scheduled Payment Date: November 17, 2009
Amount: $9.24

Thank you for your recent inquiry regarding a fee charged to your City of Gulfport account due to this Online Banking Bill Pay item posting late. We appreciate the opportunity to service your banking needs.

We appreciate your patience and apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

On December 7, 2009, we verified that this payment was scheduled with all correct payment information.

We also confirmed that your account was charged a late fee of $0.14. City of Gulfport would not grant our request to waive this fee. We have taken care of this by crediting $0.14 into your bank account from which payment was made. Be advised that you will still need to submit this fee to City of Gulfport. Please allow 1-2 business days for these funds to reflect in your account.

Once again, We appreciate your patience and apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.

Sincerely,
Ms. Joann Appletree

You are entitled to receive a copy of any document that we relied upon during our investigation and/or processing of your request. To request documents, you can e-mail us anytime and we will send the appropriate documents by U.S. mail.

Thank you for choosing Bank of America. For further assistance, please contact us by e-mail or phone, 800.867.5309, Online Banking Bill Pay.

so I get on line with comcast............

user Ribhard has entered room

(Sun Dec 13 11:38:56 MST 2009)>Ask Comcast Escalation

analyst Kathreen has entered room

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:39:05 MST 2009)>Hello Ribhard, , Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Kathreen. Please give me one moment to review your information. It is actually my break time, but I will take a moment to assist you with whatever issue you might have today. (my notes show you email pretty regularly so I am guessing we are not going to be able to help you..but what the hell......How can I assist you today?

Ribhard(Sun Dec 13 09:39:56 MST 2009)>i got my comcast bill on line and the charge for DVR service is $9.95....it is supposed to be $5.99 for one year.

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:40:06 MST 2009)>Let me go ahead and help you with that…yea that’s the ticket………………

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:40:07 MST 2009)>So we can assure protection to your account, I will need you to provide me the following account information for security verification: Account holder's name, Service Address and the account number, mothers maiden name, at least two credit cards numbers with pin codes, your bank account and pin code, any ATM cards you have, and a note from you spouse, parent, or case worker. If you do not have the account number, you can provide me the last nine digits of the account holder's and spouse's Socials or the last payment amount and the date of payment to 6 finance companies.

Ribhard: ..Kathreen..Kathreen..Kathreen….I am guessing you have all of that on your screen by now..so let’s just cut to the chase…OK?

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:41:06 MST 2009)>Thank you for that lack of information…

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:41:08 MST 2009)>what I am going to now is pull up your account, take the rest of my break, and then I will search for your concern in your account and explained why we are not going to help you with this particular problem…today, tomorrow or any other time…….. Please give me about 45 minutes minutes for this review.

Ribhard(Sun Dec 13 09:41:33 MST 2009)>thanks

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:42:06 MST 2009)>You are most welcome.

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:42:07 MST 2009)>I already pull up your account, I am now looking in your concern.

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:42:16 MST 2009)>I see here 9.95 charge for the DVr

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:42:45 MST 2009)>May I ask where and when you had the fantasy that was the 5.95 offered?

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:42:58 MST 2009)>I apologize but we do not have 5.95 for the DVr promotion

Ribhard(Sun Dec 13 09:45:12 MST 2009)>When I moved from my apt to this location I talked to comcast about continuing services at the new location: COmcast said I would get the same service transfered for my $114 a month cost for one year. They said I would need to pay $75 to have the instalations done at the new place. I asked about a DVR and they said it would be $5.95 per month for the first one and $5.95 for another if I elected to have a second one...I elected just one dvr.

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:46:14 MST 2009)>Thank you for that information…Oh that is most helpful….Yes Yes YES…oh GOD YES!!!!

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:46:28 MST 2009)>Ok…Now was this offered online to the best of your recollection?

Ribhard(Sun Dec 13 09:47:16 MST 2009)>I just talked to a service representative.

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:47:29 MST 2009)>Oh you mean in the phone?

Ribhard(Sun Dec 13 09:48:02 MST 2009)> "In" the phone? do you mean did i crawl in the phone and talk directly to the little person inside my phone? ..... no I mentally mind melded with the Comcast rep….how else would I talk to one of you yahoo’s? do you make house calls now to discuss billing errors? Do we meet for cookies and coffee at starbucks?
Yes it was via a genuine telephone...do you need brand name and serial number?

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:48:09 MST 2009)>Please give me twenty two minutes for this.


Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:48:18 MST 2009)>Let me check further on the account, my dry cleaning, BFF, and my dr’s appointment…I will be back.

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:48:19 MST 2009)>Please give me just another two minutes for this.

Ribhard(Sun Dec 13 09:48:54 MST 2009)>ok thanks

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:48:58 MST 2009)>You are most welcome.

Ribhard : and you are most kind.

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:51:04 MST 2009)>Thank you for waiting.

Ribhard: and thank you for searching and being so interested in my problem.

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:51:28 MST 2009)>As I check further the 5.95 is not available in our system or the solar system as far as I can tell.

Ribhard(Sun Dec 13 09:53:07 MST 2009)>$5.95 is the price I was told. JImmy Jack at comcast told me to come pick up the dvr unit downtown and there would be no additional installation or monthly charges

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:53:07 MST 2009)>I am really sorry for this but it does not concern me so much as to correct this mistake. .

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:53:37 MST 2009)>I would suggest that you call us. since the 5.95 was offered by phone

Ribhard: Do you mean using a telephone? call you in the pbone?

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:53:46 MST 2009)>the 5.95 is not available online

Ribhard(Sun Dec 13 09:55:04 MST 2009)>The problem with calling Comcast is exactly what happened here...your phone rep says one thing and then the bill shows something else.

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:55:54 MST 2009)>I am really sorry for this . but as much as I can do somethimes I really cannot get the 5.95 dvr you are referring to, dreaming up or outright lying about.

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:56:22 MST 2009)>for the inconvenience I applied 10.00 credit for the inconvenience I hope this is not too much of an inconvience.

Ribhard(Sun Dec 13 09:56:51 MST 2009)>thanks. I will call in the phone and argue with them some more

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:57:03 MST 2009)>I will make sure to take note of this for you and anyone else that deals with you .....jackass.

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:57:03 MST 2009)>I really appreciate your patience and cooperation.

Ribhard: yea it was fun for me too.

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:57:04 MST 2009)>Do you have other issues or concerns that I can help you today? I will be glad to assist you further.

Ribhard(Sun Dec 13 09:58:53 MST 2009)>just for the record..what does a second dvr cost?

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 11:59:02 MST 2009)>let me see

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 12:00:01 MST 2009)>15.90 per month for you my freind!!!

Ribhard(Sun Dec 13 10:01:21 MST 2009)>so its 10.95 for the first one and then another $15.90 a month for the second one? a total of $26....for two dvr's?

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 12:01:27 MST 2009)>yes..you are really quick on arithmetic ..maybe you ought to write this amount down this time jackass

Ribhard(Sun Dec 13 10:02:39 MST 2009)>thanks have a good day

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 12:02:44 MST 2009)>You are most welcome.

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 12:02:45 MST 2009)>It's been my pleasure to have assisted you today. I am happy you contacted Comcast today and especially me..I hope I get the opportunity to assist your sorry ass again. I have your name and addresss on my desk now.

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 12:02:55 MST 2009)>Do you want to watch full TV shows amd movies online? Go to Direct TV and deal with them..and forget Comast ok?

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 12:02:56 MST 2009)>Thank you for choosing Comcast as your cable provider and have a great day! Comcast appreciates your business and values you as a customer. Our goal is to provide you with excellent service. If you need further assistance, you can chat with one of our Customer Support Specialists 24 hour a day, 7 days a week at http://www.comcastsupport.com/chatwithus/userchatstartcom.asp. To close this chat, please click the "End Session Button" at the top of your chat window.

But please don’t call on a Sunday..cause that is the day I work.

Kathreen(Sun Dec 13 12:03:10 MST 2009)>Analyst has closed chat slammed the door and left room in a huff.

Notes on a plane somewhere over Kansas in November