Genetically Bootylicious

So Wednesday I go to pick up my wedding dress from Ursula's Alterations. Ursula had hemmed the dress - mostly in the front. It is a full length MOG (mother of the groom) number with lots of glitter and a long zipper down the back that won't lay flat when I try the dress on. On my first visit, Ursula had kindly opined in her German accent that this is the result of it being one of those nylon zippers. On my return visit, Ursula's assistant seemed pleased when she saw the dress and hem length until she saw the back zipper and commented "dress too tight here" while tugging at the fabric. This whole episode put me in the mind of an earlier family booty story about Aug being fitted for a tux for Glenn's wedding. The jacket had one of the center flaps at the back hem, and the sales clerk commented: "It will lay flat when you take the wallet out of your back pocket" - to which Aug sadly responded that there was no wallet in his pocket. I called him last night to verify the facts before writing this blog, and he reminded me that at the time Glenn offered, "Tell her 'If you have a spike up front, you might as well drive it with a hammer.' " (Fortunately, my dress comes with a jacket.)

No Sudden Moves

When I was growing up back at Broad Rock, occasionally Gram Records would make an afternoon visit. She would drive her Plymouth Duster from North Kingstown with her annoying chihuahua Taffy (adjective unnecessary?) in tow. After bidding her goodbye at the back door (in response to "Gram is leaving now. Come say good bye."), I would rush into the living room to turn on the tube - as TV was not allowed when company was present. (good rule) Broad Rock had a long narrow driveway, bordered by the house on one side and a chain link fence on the other. This fence was installed by the neighbors to the west after their son Martin began to walk. (That's another story. Suffice it to say the phrase "child ain't right" applied to Martin.) Anyway, Gram was VERY cautious when backing out of the driveway, and it was not a quick exit. I figured my time was better spent warming up the TV than continuing to wave my arm off while she was concentrating on her reverse.

I just wanted to share this picture I found with you. There's no big story here except to relate that I remember one afternoon waving goodbye at the back door and rushing to the living room in the front of the house to turn on Dark Shadows. I was intently enjoying the show for at least 5-10 minutes, it seemed, before a commercial break. Something caught my eye, and, when I looked out the window, Gram was STILL backing the car out of the driveway. (Taffy was in the back window with his paws covering his eyes.)