Thursday, September 22, 2011

Souls and Soles


So i leave work today and head down to a shoe repair shop here in town. A pair of shoes I have had about 20 years seems to be losing a heel. I noticed it was aligatoring about a week ago. I walk in to the little strip mall shoe repair shop that has probably been here for 20 -30 years. The small narrow shop has a counter, a fan, several pair of shoes on wooden shelves, and an old Chinese (Korean?) woman and man working there. The smell of leather and shoe polish fills the air. the little hand written sign on the counter says "No checks, No Credit Cards". I place the shoes on the counter. The woman says something to me that I can't understand. She points to the shoes and says "rooberleffer?" to which i reply "Huh?" she says rooberleffer again. I shake my head, shrug, and point to the shoe: "Soles and heels". she mumbles something and goes to the back behind a half wall and gets Song Hwang. Song comes out and picks up the old shoes and says : you wanna leffer or roober? Now it makes sense, he is saying leather or rubber soles. being a cheap ass SOB my first question is which is cheaper? he shakes his head stares at me like he has done this a thousand times and says "boofsamemoony, boofsamemoony". I am learning the language and understand this now as "Both are the same price..both same money". Being the sharp consumer that I am, i press the issue...Which is better? He looks at me like I am a 3 year old jabbering. He goes back behind the wall brings out two shoes. flips them over and shows me that one has a rubber sole and one has a leather sole. he repeats "Boofsame, Boofsame". I point to the leather one. He mummbles to his wife and walks to the back. Apparently done with his translation duties.
She says "satdaykay...satdaykay"...i reply yes saturday will be fine. She makes a note on the ticket with that slanted tic-tac-toe chinese writing , tears the claim ticket off and hands it to me. picks up my shoes, turns and goes back to the back of the shop behind the half wall.

I pick up a business card. says they are open from monday - friday 8 am to 6 pm. saturdays 9 to 4. I think about someone coming form a foreign country and starting out here from scratch. Dont know the language, cant read a sign, the radio is charlie brown wa wa wa wa wa, and probably flat ass broke. They find a place to live, start a business, and work their butts off for years. 50 -60 hours a week. Don't complain, pay taxes, learn the language, have children. They had it rough and had to pinch pennies for years.......and now feel like they are living large. They will work in this same shop till the man dies. Then the woman will retire and go live with her oldest children. She will help with the meals, clean house, and do the wash. Some days she will sit in the rocker by the windoow and feel the sunshine on her thin cotton dress. She will think about the days spent in the little shop and the time she and her husband were together. Brown bag lunches shared for 60 -70 years, babies, deaths, and weddings. I hear the lyrics from a john mellencamp song going thru my head:

there's a black man with a black cat
Livin' in a black neighborhood
He's got an interstate runnin' through his front yard
You know he thinks that he's got it so good


and i think maybe just maybe they do have it good.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

"This I Believe"


Disclaimer: This will be a lengthy blog. Yet I hope you'll find it inspiring enough to contemplate your own "This I Believe" essay.

I've been reading the book "This I Believe". It's a compilation of short essays by many famous and non-famous men and women each describing a personal, passionate belief. In the back a challenge to the reader is presented. Below you'll find that challenge and my response. I highly recommend reading the book and writing your own essay.

How to Write Your Own This I Believe Essay

We invite you to contribute to this project by writing and submitting your own statement of personal belief. We understand

how challenging this is—it requires intense self-examination, and many find it difficult to begin. To guide you through this process, we offer these suggestions:

Tell a story: Be specific. Take your belief out of the ether and ground it in the events of your life. Your story need not be heart-warming or gut-wrenching—it can even be funny—but it should be real. Consider moments when your belief was formed, tested, or changed. Make sure your story ties to the essence of your daily life philosophy and to the shaping of your beliefs.

Be brief: Your statement should be between 350 and 500 words. The shorter length forces you to focus on the belief that is central to your life.

Name your belief: If you can’t name it in a sentence or two, your essay might not be about belief. Rather than writing a list, consider focusing on one core belief.

Be positive: Say what you do believe, not what you don’t believe. Avoid statements of religious dogma, preaching, or editorializing.

Be personal: Make your essay about you; speak in the first person. Try reading your essay aloud to yourself several times, and each time edit it and simplify it until you find the words, tone, and story that truly echo your belief and the way you speak.

The Gift of Laughter

Maggie Robinson

I BELIEVE THAT THE GREATEST GIFT WE ARE GIVEN IS THAT OF LAUGHTER.

I am by no means the family comedian or class clown. But I have quite a laugh. In elementary school, during a period of bullying I endured, girls ridiculed me saying my laugh was fake. I’ve always had an accompanying snort to my laugh; when something is so funny my nose envy’s my mouth’s pleasure and joins in. And then there is my singular, but incredibly animated “HA!” which my mother-in-law now thoroughly enjoys. Lastly, there’s my out of breath, evil-dog-like-wheezing-laugh (think Muttley from the cartoon, Wacky Races) that works my abs like no other and brings tears to my eyes. All of these…real.

In fact, it is laughter that I find to be a most sincere and identifiable auditory characteristic in people. Take my father for instance. He was an Irish man with a great talent for story telling and in particular, joke delivery. Every holiday and gathering of family and friends, he filled the atmosphere with his large, contagious laugh…It was a hands on his belly, curly white Bob Ross hair style pointed to the floor, nose in the air, tears rolling down his face, deep Santa Clause laugh. When I miss him the most, I close my eyes and hear his laughter, and my heart is warmed with his presence.

I also believe that laughter can heal. When I was a teenager, my grandmother moved in with us. She had a number of health complications that eventually led to her partial paralysis, dementia, and dependence on our family to care for her fully. But in the midst of her pain and confusion, her humor never faded. We would watch videos of Carol Burnett or Johnny Carson shows together on repeat…with each joke her face would brighten with all the smile she could muster (even if it was only the left side of her face). She would even crack herself up while attempting her physical therapy training or when a bite of a meal slipped off her fork right before reaching her mouth. I believe she was actually happy during those tough years, thanks to her sense of humor. We are still so thankful for the many years it kept her with us.

Here’s an exercise. Picture an old friend from school, or a dear aunt you only see once a year. Close your eyes. Focus on hearing their laughter. I can almost guarantee you are now smiling and engaging more of your senses in both visualizing and hearing that person you were or are close to. Once I started doing this I almost couldn’t stop! I went to college 1,500 miles from my hometown and can now vividly recall all of my close friends whenever I want to…this in turn brings on distinct memories of our time together, forever retained in laughter.

As I type this, I am having a very early breakfast with my husband and in-laws, and we are starting the day off with a good laugh. Momentarily, I have forgotten the pain from spraining my ankle yesterday and the stress of waiting for a job interview. Somehow I know, that not matter what the day holds, as long as I have a good laugh with people I love and even strangers, things will be OK. Laughter is the gift of love, comradery, unity, health, happiness, and comfort.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

can I get a replacement or what?




From: ribhard [mailto:ribhard@qmail.net]
Sent: Monday, January 24, 2011 5:51 PM
To: Customer Service at CHIEFS Catalog
Subject: Connnoisseur Corkscrew Item 90050


I bought a Connoisseur Corkscrew Item 90050 at your warehouse sale a few months back. It is a very good item and works well . the only problem I have is the foil cutter fell apart the first time I used it. This little item is handy and I would like to replace it. I have looked on line and cannot find the manufacturer.
Is there some way I can buy or get a replacement foil cutter?
Thanks
ribhard


From: Customer Service at CHIEFS Catalog [mailto:custservice@chefscatalog.net
Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 10:45 AM
To: ribhard
Subject: RE: Connnoisseur Corkscrew Item 90050


Dear Mr. Ribhard
Thank you for contacting CHIEFS.
I’m sorry that the foil cutter broke. I am even sorrier that you wrote me and tried to weasel a free item, again. For the record we do sell a foil cutter separately: It is a VMF Vino foil cutter #25469 for $19.95. If you want to order one, please use our website and make sure you use a valid credit card (this time). Also, I have some further information on the manufacturer: Fax #206-555-1218 and www.myufrance.net. I passed your email along to them and they would be happy to hear from you (NOT).
If we can be of further assistance please don’t hesitate to contact us..

Kally Sahlah
Customer Care Specialist
Chiefs
800-333-4444
Fax 800-999-2433
skelly@chiefscatalog.net
www.chiefscatalog.net
________________________________________

________________________________________
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This e-mail message, including any attachments, is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and proprietary information. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure or distribution is prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient(s), please contact the sender by reply e-mail and destroy all copies of the original message.


From: ribhard [mailto: ribhard@gmail.net]
Sent: Wednesday, February 09, 2011 6:20 PM
To: administration@xinhuacorp.net
Subject: Connoisseur Corkscrew Item 90050


I bought a Connoisseur Corkscrew Item 90050 a few months back. It is a very good item and works well . the only problem I have is the foil cutter fell apart the first time I used it.I wrote the company where I purchased it and they said to go take a hike. This little item is handy and I would like to replace it. I have looked on line and cannot find the manufacturer. Is there some way I can buy or get a replacement foil cutter?
Thanks
Ribhard


From: Customer Service [mailto:cuservice@mifrance.net]
Sent: Thursday, February 10, 2011 9:21 AM
To: Ribhard
Subject: RE: Connoisseur Corkscrew Item 90050


Just need your address and we'll throw a couple in the mail for you. Just need to hear we are completely done with this deal….ok?

one thing leads to another





so I (and I am guessing a few thousand of her closest friends) get this email from Laura, who plays in this duo called the sweet potatoes. I first wrote her an email back a few years to find out what happened after she left tv. She s probably best known as the improvisational pianist on WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY. But anyway, one of the things she is doing now is singing:

"The Sweet Potatoes
featuring Laura Hall & Kelly Macleod
acoustic driven Americana music with a fresh twist"

this email is announcing they will be playing in a club in North Hollywood this month. I click on the link and find the club. scroll down looking at the list of who has played there and find this guy named Laurence Juber. Well it turns out that Laurence plays classical guitar and was the lead guitarist for Wings with Paul McCartney when they toured for 3 years. so i click on amazon and listen to some of his music...and one album is called LJ plays the beatles and is very interesting and fun to hear.

ain't it funny in life how one thing leads to another. You start off doing homework, check email, click a couple of links, and before you know it you are easing down the long and winding road feeling good and mellow and end up listening to Laurence and then you are on to The Greatest Hits of The Beatles Classical Style and you just have to stop and blog a bit..and the next thing you know old Jed's a millionaire and you find it is about 2 hours later and you have done no homework, washed no clothes , or thought about fixing any supper.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Can you spare a brother a shirt?




On December 24, 2011 at 8:16 PM, ribhard@qmil.net wrote:

From: ribhard
To: L.L.Bean Customer Service
Subject: worn out shirt

Mens Long sleeve Chamois Cloth Shirt Hunter Green

I bought an LL Bean shirt 2 -3 years ago and the cuffs on the sleeves are coming apart and very thread bare. Is it possible to return it for replacement? I don’t think I have worn it that much.

Thanks
Ribhard

-----Original Message-----
From: customerservice@llbean.com [mailto:customerservice@llbean.com]
Sent: Monday, December 24, 2011 8:32 PM
To: ribhard@qmil.net
Subject: RE: L.L.Bean Customer Service

Dear Mr. Ribhard,

Thank you for contacting L.L.Bean regarding your Chamois Shirt. I'm sorry to hear the cuffs are coming apart. Just a personal comment: It seems any shirt that lasted 2 – 3 years probably lived up to any normal customer expectations…….. I’m just sayin.
Anyway, all of our products are guaranteed to give 100% satisfaction in every way. If you “feel” the shirt has not performed as you expected, given the time and use (and probable abuse) it has been given, you may return it for replacement. (Don’t even think about getting a refund.)

I hope this information is helpful Mr. Ribhard. Please let us know if we can be of further assistance.

Sincerely,
Claudia S.
L.L.Bean Customer Service
800-YOU-KIDDING-ME?
llbean.com

On December 24, 2011 at 8:56 PM, "ribhard"
Yes I would like to return it for a replacement, since a refund is apparently not in the cards at this time. Where should I send it? Do you have prepaid shipping labels and packing sheets I can download on line? I’m jest askin.
Thank you
ribhard


Dear Mr Ribhard,

Thank you for contacting L.L.Bean again, concerning your shirt.

You can download a return label/form online at llbean.com under Easy Returns. The link for the Returns information is: http://www.llbean.com/shop/returns/index.html?nav=ftbar . If this is too much trouble, please give us your physical address and we will mail you the paperwork. (We would really like your physical address and a picture for our bulletin board)

I appreciate the opportunity to help you today. If you have any further questions do not hesitate to call. 1-800-YOU-KIDDING-ME?

Sincerely,
Cynthia F.
L.L.Bean Customer Service
800-YOU-KIDDING-ME?
llbean.com


TO: customerservice@llbean.com
Sent: Monday, December 24, 2011 8:32 PM
FROM: ribhard@qmil.net
Subject: RE: L.L.Bean Customer Service

Dear Cynthia,
Ok I will ship the shirt back. I am just wondering: Is there anyway you can next day air the replacement to me righ away? I promise I will send the old shirt back when I get the new one. I hate to be without a warm shirt for several days. (Even with worn sleeves)

Thanks for your consideration.

ribhard

Ugly Wings





-----Original Message-----
From: ribhard
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2011 3:00 AM
To jolene.klastione@kroger.net
Subject: Kroger Chicken Wings Dat Went Ugly

I recently purchased a Kroger brand 48 oz bag of Chicken Wing Drummettes, bone in, skin on. (9999890KL111097863) at King Sooper on Centennial and Fillmore in Colorado Springs, CO.

I usually get fresh wings, bitch about the price, and continue on with my shopping……but this particular day, the store was out of fresh wings. I asked the counter meat man “What up dawg? we got no fresh wings in da box?” He said “Look-a-heh boy, go grab a bag of dem frozen wings, and be on whit yer bidness.” I think he muttered under his breath something like “I gots no time for the likes of you”......…but I ain’t sure. Anyway, short story long, I waddled down to the freezer and snagged a bag. I brought these home and cooked them in the oven as the bag specified. I am never really sure if I am supposed to cook longer or shorter time since I live in Colorado and its 6,000 ft elevation…so I just “winged” it on the cook time. After about 35 -40 mins at 350 I pulled them out of the oven. I have never seen so much chicken dripping fat on a wing / drummette in my life. I had to double check the bag to see if I actually bought chicken wings or did I get fatback bacon grease by mistake. I am not sure if this is the normal way this product turns out, but I will be sure to steer clear of this product in the future. You may want to pass along a little heads up info to the company that is hoodwinking yall on this product: their wings are ugly.
Sincerely,
ribhard


-----Original Message-----
From: jolene.klastione@kroger.com
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2011 1:12 PM
To: ribhard
Subject: Kroger Comment 897573162

Dear Mr. Ribhard:

Thank you for contacting The Kroger. You ain’t the first to bitch about these wings. In fact, we have received so many complaints that we almost took them off the shelves. But strange as it may seem, lots of people just keep on buying them. Anyway I apologize that you were so disappointed in the Kroger Chicken Wings. We are committed to maintaining a high quality in all our products and we appreciate the feedback about the wings.

I am forwarding your comments to quality control for review and consideration. I am also sending you a $10 coupon.

If you have any further concerns or comments please feel free to contact us at 800.THE.KING. (But please don’t make a habit of it.)

Sincerely,
Jolene Klastione
Consumer Affairs

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


So we now have had two snow days in a row……it has become apparent the people of Colorado do not feel obligated to work or go to school when it is 8 below out here. So during the down time I have accomplished many tasks: took P-Lou to the library yesterday to help me write a homework assignment. As she wrote, I multitasked: I looked up a periodical required and got the reference desk lady to show me where it was, ate a roast beef sandwich, cheese puffs, and drank a diet coke, kept track of the time, all this and still had time to observe P-Lou getting the paper done. On the way back home yesterday, we made a couple of product returns/exchanges at Kohl’s and the Wall of Martness. I now have a big blue sweat shirt to go with my big blue sweat pants.
Also during this two day period, I have invested some serious time into planning some very important projects: taxes, homework, clean up desk, convert VHS to digital, alphabetize CD’s, clean junk drawer, clean garage, thin out old clothes, etc.
I have also cooked a few of my specialties this week…ok ok ok…I have cooked my one specialty: Dill Chicken with rice. P-Lou’s oldest son is staying over for work and he also fixed some delicious Chili. I made omelets this morning too just because I had time with the snow day and all.
Just finished putting a crock pot meal on to cook. Had a 1 LB pork tenderloin I needed to cook. Looked up a few BBQ recipes on line and decided to make my own. Started pulling stuff out of the ice box and pantry shelves and tossing them in the mix:
1 LB Pork Tenderloin cut into two chunks
12 cloves stuck in the meat, ½ Onion sliced and put in the pot, then put the meat on top of the onions, added 1 TBS of spicy mustard, ½ green and yellow bell peppers chopped up, chopped fresh organic baby dill and chives, white pepper, black pepper, Kosher salt, 1/3 cup catsup, 1 TBS liquid smoke, dash of cumin, dash of ground mustard, 1 – 14 oz. can of Swanson 100 % natural chicken broth 99% fat free with no MSG, 2 chicken flavored bouillon cubes, dash of Worcestershire sauce, 1 TBS Badi complete seasoning, 1 TBS minced garlic, 2 pcs of double smoked slab bacon cut up into pieces and sprinkled on the meat, 1/3 cup of white rice vinegar. I topped this off with the other ½ onion slices. Set the pot to cook 10 hours on low. Plan on cooking all day, removing the meat, straining the pot liquor whats-left and putting it in a cleaned out used catsup squeeze bottle for bbq ontheside sauce. Will get some fresh buns and serve it up tonight with some coleslaw or potato salad. …….and maybe eat with some black iron skillet cornbread I made the other day.
Will keep you posted on the outcome.

Monday, January 24, 2011

ok so nobody writes here..so


1. One of the few good things about living in Colorado is you never see a roach...anywhere anytime.
2. Florida has gotten hotter than hell,over the past few years, in the summer time and colder in the winter time. And this pisses me off some.
3. It takes a lot to get an old person to change his/her ways about anything.
4. I don't like to swim in any pools, ponds or oceans.
5. The wind blowing really hard pisses me off when I am trying to walk outside.... anywhere.
6. I have a bike but haven't ridden it in months because I am too lazy (and the wind blows a lot around here).
7. It is not easy to find good chicken wings at a decent price anymore....like below $2.09 a lb.
8. You can DVR so much stuff that you can't watch it all and you might as well not even DVR half the stuff if you ain't gonna watch it.
9. I can sleep most nights all the way through now but can't remember any dreams anymore which is a decent trade off I guess.
10. Sometimes you just wonder what exactly the deal is on this whole living on earth thing.